All events in this webpage take place some time between just before the Overseer's second near death experience, and its death.
I coasted through the star system at a brisk pace. I was only 93 (729) of my unit of distance (in total a little more than the distance from the Earth to the moon) away from my target planet. I had no real reason to be there, but I was exploring. Nothing else to occupy my time for the enneades until my inevitable death.
Satisfied with the information on the screen, my 18 legs helped me scuttle back to the living quarters of the ship. I walked in a strange way, I had 3 leg groups that walked 120 degrees out of phase of each other. My body was based on the 24-cell, I had an octahedron in front which has evolved to become arms, complete with strange 21 fingered hands. That leaves the other 18 limbs to be legs, which are divided into 3 groups of 6. My body lies low to the ground and is mostly flat with 3 segments like an ant, perfectly adept to the high gravity of my home world.
I nested into my bed of artificial stick like structures atop a fake rock, which started heating up when it detected my weight. I'm technically not supposed to leave the flight computer unattended, but I was tired and I've never had to correct it.
During my slumber, the computer used its imaging sensors and processing networks to figure out its position and velocity in five dimensional space. Using its understanding of general relativity and the inverse square law (yes, inverse square, gravity violates energy conservation and we have no idea why) it was successfully able to enter a stable orbit with the planet. 3 hours later, I woke up. (My species doesn't sleep for very long, our days are short on our home world.)
I stretched my legs 6 at a time as I woke. I did a five dimensional wriggle to wake up my hydraulic based joints, and clicked my mandibles open and closed. Okay, I think I'm ready to get some food now.
I consumed the flesh of a fallen animal, and vaguely wondered what star system the meat was from. I have no idea how much shipping goes on when I buy food. After my meal, I went to the flight computer in the piloting room, and ordered the ship to land. I felt a jolt as the ship began accelerating counter to our orbital rotation, and we began plummetting into the atmosphere. The hull was shaking violently and I braced myself as the engines came on again, a deafening roar filling my sensitive ears. A final "ca-chunk!" and the ship stopped. I was on the surface.
I quickly slipped into my space suit and cycled through the air lock. Within minutes I was outside. The planet was beautiful, and full of life. The grass was a vibrant green and the damp soil made sounds as I walked across it. I saw creatures walking about, with a 3-4 duoprism leg arrangement, meaning they were dodecapods with 12 legs.
I continued moving forward, occasionally looking behind me to make sure my ship was still there. I was paranoid about... I don't know what, really. I doubt anyone could take it, it was locked and had auto turret defenses. This planet seems uninhabited, anyway. As I continued walking, the ship was just a gray tesseractoid on my vision in the distance, and the beautiful weather had transitioned to a rainstorm. I should turn back soon, but I spotted something interesting.
There. Just up ahead there were actual ancient ruins. The buildings had strange designs. Some were icosachoral prisms, others were 6-6 duoprismatic prisms. This is insanely exciting!!! With only 52/81 breathable air in my tanks left, I entered one of the stone ruins. Inside were clay pots, and paintings, presumably of the creatures that built this place. As painting in 4D takes forever, the paintings were crude, I only got the vague sense that these were upright beings with an octahedron of legs and an octahedron of arms.
As I continued exploring I felt the sense I wasn't alone. This place, being abandoned for so long and being so old, filled me with strange existential emotions. It got me thinking about how large and vast the universe is, spatially and temporally. As I was exploring the third building, I noticed an outcropping. A small cubic region on the floor that was higher than the rest of the floor, suggesting...
I reached for the floor and picked up a tesseract shaped panel, seemed to be made of wood and clay. Under it was a passage. There was a series of cubic outcroppings on the side of the tunnel, serving as hand and foot holds for the location's creators. They didn't suit my biology well. My flat body barely fit the width of the tunnel, the sides of my three segments kept getting caught on the soil and I'd have to hack it away or rotate myself. I had to crawl looking straight down. It was intense, claustrophobic, and very creepy, but I got to the end. Thankfully, the dug out region expanded to a whole room.
It was pitch black in the small cavern, and it was the quietest room I had ever been in. Not a single sound. No wind, no critters, nothing. I felt as if I could hear my hearts beat. I clicked a button on my space suit helmet and the lights on my antenna flashed a bright red for half a second (what would be a scream, if I had a body like yours). There was one of... them. Staring right at me. Dead of course, but not a skeleton. I could see its rotting flesh.
The lights on my antenna warbled in brightness from darkness and flashed different hues in unease (your version of a whimper). How was it standing? It looks like it's been dead for 9 days at least. I noticed 6 more standing to my right, left, ana, kata, surst (V+) and deorst (V-). What the fuck?
I stumbled backwards and frantically looked around. I noticed the paintings on the walls, they depicted a large gray 5-orthoplex, and these beasts bowing down to it at all angles. There are 7 walls in this room, and they each had a different picture featuring this 5-orthoplex. In one, it showed the shape giving them food, in another showing them how to hunt. The most interesting were the ones showing the orthoplex in front of random red scribbles, and one with it killing random creatures. What in the sweet savory FUCK could this mean??? What is that thing? This culture didn't seem on the level to understand the 5-orthoplex. Was this their god? There seems to be a bit of a betrayal here-
The corpses moved. Within a single second I heard the cracks and pops of old decayed joints moving and they began accelerating towards me, their limbs clambering through the five dimensional space as a horrible tsunami of rotting flesh. Tripping and stumbling over each other, they attempted to reach me. I punched the closest one in the face with all the might I could muster and then some. Its head fully detached from the rest of its body, but that didn't even momentarily distract the others. I quickly scrambled to get up the ladder, feeling the buzz of my adrenaline-like-molecule coursing through my nervous system.
I struggled to get up, as the zombies (I'll just call them what they are) grabbed at my feet. I wish I had brought my pistol. With a few desparate kicks of my legs, I managed to get up the ladder. I grabbed the wooden tesseract shaped cover and put it back over the entrance to the bunker and sat on it. Only a moment later I felt them banging on the panel, attempting to get through. What was I gonna do??? How are they doing this??
I noticed that my tank had gone down to 38/81 of breathable air due to the prolongued exploration. I had spent too long here. I wouldn't have enough air to get back. Okay, okay. Calm down. I have time to think about this. I have a remotely controllable rover, but it doesn't have nearly enough battery to get here and back. I have a system to call my ship to auto land near me. Good, I think I can use that. Then what? Just bee line it to the ship and hope the zombies don't get in with me? What other choice do I have? I guess the auto turrets could help, but they're overly cautious and intentionally underestimate their ability to shoot around me, and so will refuse to shoot when I'm on screen.
With little faith in myself, I tapped some things onto my wrist mounted computer, and didn't hear the sound of the thrusters waking up. By all means it should be extremely loud, but sound fades very quickly in 5D. After a few of the most stressful minutes of my life, I heard the faintest sounds of engines, meaning it was here! I felt the vibration of the 6 * 93 ton metal craft landing, and readied myself. "Okay, three, two, one." My antenna glowed an orchestra of colors as I spoke to myself.
I launched off the ground with as much force as I could, and I hit my head on the roof of the ruins. Good thing I have this suit! My legs are very powerful, especially relative to this 1.1 G planet. The zombies pushed the lid out of the way and poured out like ants leaving their hill. I had a good 2 or 3 meters on them and I began to gallop like my life depended on it. It probably did!
I was quickly back at my ship and I panicked to get the code in. My dumbass was too impatient and I got the code wrong, substituting a 4 for a 5. Then I held a button for too short of a time and it didn't register, costing me another precious second of confusion. The zombies were surprisingly fast, they were only 2 meters behind me when the door opened. I rushed into the vehicle and slammed the door behind me, but I was too late. Their arms, though decrepit, were strong when working together. They were able to hold off from me shutting the sliding door. I fumbled for the button to close it. It beeped, complaining about the obstruction.
"I don't have time for this!" I cried.
My strength in my 3 arms I was using still fading, I used my other 3 to try and figure this thing out. I need a screwdriver. I fiddled with my spacesuit pockets and luckily I found one. The suit came with the ship, and this ship was made for doing engineering work. Which worked for me, as a split class engineer and adventurer. I unscrewed the panel and had to switch arms to maintain my hold on the door. Luckily, it was a simple circuit. There was a button and some wires that seemed to lead to the motors in the door, or perhaps the computer. There was also a component in the wire, that I assumed lead to the detector.
More fiddling in my pocket gave me a wire cutter and stripper. I cut and stripped the wire, removing the detector from the circuit. Now doing the other side... god my arms are so tired. I twisted the wire ends together, completing the circuit. Yes! I triumphantly pushed the button, now freeing up all 6 of my arms. I grabbed the zombies' arms and tried to push them back outside, to little success, but a few kicks got enough of them out that I could quickly drag open and close the door, severing the last arm.
Looking at the severed arm, I noticed how weird the skin looked. Could just be it being alien but... I also see some colored wires on the inside of the forearm. These weren't paranormal entities out of an Indiana Jones movie, they were animatronics, built by some crazed lunatic inspired by Indiana Jones! Who would do such a thing?!
I looked down at my hands, trembling. That was a lot! I filled my air tanks and stashed my suit away. I got in the piloting seat and entered manual control. I wasn't the best manual pilot, but I knew my way around a HOTAS. Using two hands for steering, one for the throttle, and three for the guns, I flew into the air and vaporized the zombie androids with a 4 kilowatt laser. That's what those bastards get. You fuck with me you face the power of my technology.
With lightning storms threatening to force me to stay the night on this haunted planet, I pulled up hard and accelerated way harder than I usually do. I went off manual control and told the computer to pilot to the nearest unvisited star system. I should be there in a week or three. I've been up for 5 hours, and usually it takes me 6 or 7 hours of being awake to get tired, but as you can imagine I'm a little worn out after my hike and encounter. Ahhh, the sweet comfort of my artificial nest. Goodnight world. As I drifted off, my thoughts were fixated on the orthoplex drawings. What was that thing? Alien tech? A myth or legend? Who built the zombies?
My name is [translation not available, substituting to byte designation 3F], I'm a tesseractoid engineer who built the first fusion reactor when I was only 9 years old (we reach sexual maturity at 8 years old, and live for ~128 years). This brought me fame but no fortune as our economic system is extremely different from capitalism. Anyway, last month I applied to the ORDP (Orthoplex Research and Disposal Program). This is a really clever acronym in my language. And today I was accepted! I got the news from one of their representatives knocking at my door.
A short chat and walk later and I was in their vehicle heading to the facility to start work immediately. I was going to be on the flight crew, solving engineering problems thousands of light years away! I had been to space before, but only for brief business endeavors and vacations, nothing ever... space mission level.
An hour or two later I had gotten moved in to the lab and I looked at the employee list. A few names stood out, most notably one of the TESSERACTOIDS WHO DISCOVERED WORMHOLES!! This was a recent discovery, only 3 years ago, but it had let us expand so much in that time. We had found many planets, and some were even inhabited. So far we had encountered two other civilizations, both less advanced than us. We decided not to help them, but out of kindness we didn't trample them. We've also encountered over a dozen planets with ruins of civilizations. All but one of those ancient civilizations had scriptures, glyphs, whatever, that tell stories of a 5-orthoplex that did various things to their culture, like a god.
This was DEEPLY disturbing, as all of the archeaology we did on our homeworld indicated that our ancestors from every continent had an encounter with this being too. Also on our travels, we found strange and impossible 3D and 4D worlds. These are not possible, and yet they exist. The ORDP has already figured out that this entity, who we have nicknamed the Overseer, [translator's note: the more accurate translation is "the shape without consistent motives", or "the two faced shape", but I'm gonna write "the Overseer" instead as that's who they're referring to.] is not a pantheon of similar looking gods, but one god with inconsistent motivations. We think it's a god. We're not sure who made 3D and 4D planets, or who the Overseer is, but that's what we're guessing.
We can't let something that powerful exist. It is a threat to our existence, and all life in the universe. So when the world government discovered this, they transformed the ORDP from a small group of curious archaeologists, to a massive team of scientists, engineers, astronauts, and fighter pilots.
3 months later, I've been doing a lot of training getting ready to go to space, and our history and archeaology experts have made some breakthroughs. Most notably that the one planet that didn't have ancient documents about the Overseer actually did, and a newly discovered civilization actually remembers some stuff about the Overseer. They don't know why but it suddenly launched off in a direction, without warning nor explanation. They gave us the vector and with that we were ready to launch. Our original plan was to use telescopes and scouting missions to find signs of the Overseer, but this is far easier. Exploring 5D space is not easy. Despite all my training, nothing could have prepared me for take off. I was extremely nervous, I felt like I was gonna puke!
The ground engineers finally decided that they had got everything together, and they began the countdown.
"16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9..." The speakers in my seat announced.
Launching was terrible, but I was prepared for it. After a few minutes I passed out from the G forces.
I was not in our ship. I was in the ascent vehicle, that would go to the ship that's in orbit with our planet. Our spaceship was so big and non-aerodynamic it had to be shipped in pieces and then assembled in space. Our spaceship was made of 32 quadrants of a hypersphere, these would clasp together with incredibly coordinated precision to trap the Overseer.
One of my crew jostled me, trying to bring me out of my acceleration induced nap. I came to groggily, waking up from passing out is not fun. I quickly righted myself and tried to look attentive. We were in space! The gravity was a little higher than normal since we were accelerating, but I could tolerate it.
Our ascent vehicle docked with our thirty second of the 4-sphere ship, and that's when our mission really started. The first day was so packed and so long ago, it's hard to remember all the details. Mostly just maitenance and set up stuff, all boring anyway.
While the 4-sphere was in one piece, I got to meet so many talented and interesting people. Weeks passed as we drifted the cosmos. We finally spotted what we were looking for, something weird! We had found many 4D and 3D worlds, and even a handful of 2D ones, but nothing quite of this... magnitude. It was three whole universes side by side, a 4D one, a 3D one, and a 2D one.
We activated our cloaking engines and built scouting drones. Within a year we found the Overseer, which was insanely fast. We owe it all to the talents of our team and the resources of our home planet. After that, we started experimenting with it, and within a month we had figured out how it works. It can see atoms in a certain radius of itself, so cloaking devices are worthless, and it has a camera and tablet it uses to see further. That IS weak to cloaking devices. It seems to be able to manipulate matter at will, but, sans conservation of energy, it has to adhere to physics. Unlike us, with our wormhole tech, it is limited to the speed of light. We already knew a lot of this stuff from our archealogical endeavors, but this was good confirmation, and we learned some new stuff!
With all of this information and more, we started planning our attack. It could delete atoms, so we lined our 4-sphere with trip wires that would detect when they were broken, and we had an emphasis on speed with the design of our drones. Doesn't matter how hard we hit the entity, if it takes longer than 500 nanoseconds or so, it'll get deleted. Can't defend against atom deletion. Through our experiments we've found that its reaction time is somewhere around 500 nanoseconds.
With our plan in hand, we waited until it was travelling. We only had to wait a day before it decided to blast off. This means it'll be consistently accelerating in a specific direction until it reaches its destination, which, by mapping out the system, we're pretty sure is this one random planet. Not important. All that matters is we can calculate where it'll be at any given time, so we positioned ourselves to the corners of a 5-cube centered on where the Overseer will be 4 months from now.
We did it, we were in position and accelerating with the Overseer. With our telescopes, I could see the 31 other groups, and we could all see the Overseer as a small (24^4) area of pixels. We used our FTL instant communication to ignore relativity of simultaneity, and we began moving inwards as fast as we could. We calculated that this is the minimum distance to be travelling faster than its reaction time when we reach it. The Overseer will die for its crimes against this universe.
4 months later and I got out of my anti acceleration stasis pod. It kept me alive as we accelerated ridiculous amounts. I got on comms and everyone else was waking up. We all wanted to wait around and warm up, but there was no time. The Overseer was already moving to inspect the confines of its death bed. The voice channel was so cluttered I never got to say a word.
There was a loud bang as the overseer got hit by the hidden piston. I had to turn down my headset as all the voices cheered. This was going according to plan so far. We were lucky to have installed radiation shielding "just in case". That thing emitted ludicrous amounts of energy when in pain and we had no idea.
It continued like this for a while before we let in some drones to finish it off. We hoped that letting it feel hopeless would make it fight worse.
We watched helplessly as it melted all of our drones. We did a good amount of damage, 60% or so, but man it was strong. A new batch of drones was almost done printing when a blob of hot metal started forming around the little orthoplex. Eventually, the whole sphere was full. Luckily our drones are tough, and they were able to withstand the molten lead. At this point we lost visuals but that's okay because our stuff is very automatic and highly robust. We anticipated that it'd use a similar strategy. We actually thought of over a hundred scenarios of how it might try to fight.
We launched yet more drones once the Overseer got to the surface, we could just barely see again, but only through the drones.
"Noooo! The bastard is turning the lead into plasma!" someone cried.
There's only so much heat resistance we can give stuff. Our drones began to melt. We panicked as we tried to think of something. The lead plasma was melting most of our stuff. We weren't stupid, we had thought of "what if they just use as much heat as possible". The solution was to pull the sphere apart and blast it with lasers until it's so hot it melts the Overseer, but the Overseer was at the surface. It would just escape if we did that, and our lasers can't withstand the heat of lead plasma. We attempted to slurp up some of the lead with a tube. When the hole opened, it turned the whole structure into a rocket as it spewed high pressure molten lead, but it wasn't enough. It had infinite energy. A leak just means it needs to pressurize faster, and pressurize faster it did.
It was uncomfortably hot in here. Everyone on the channel complained about how hot they were. We diverted as much power as we could to air conditioning just to keep ourselves alive. The hull of the ship started to groan as the pressure was so high. We realized that the hole was adding a pressure point, now that it was at the point where it could break we should close it. When someone pressed the button to close it, the door couldn't close, the pressure was too high. The jet ripped the metal piece off, sending it careening into space, never to be seen again.
We decided to activate everything at once. We were so hot we couldn't think, our controls gave us mild burns to touch, we were truly fucked. Every piston, every saw, every drone, even our nuclear weapons. None of it worked. It all melted. We had nothing, it won. I hugged my friend tight as our skin melted and we were sent flying into the wall as the sphere ripped apart and exploded. We were yanked out of the ship by the exposure to the vacuum. We should've started freezing but the IR from the lead plasma, and some of the lead plasma reached us, so we were getting fried instead. I'm sorry. To my parents, to my friends I had to say goodbye to, to everyone on my homeworld I failed. I miss my family so much.
I'm the Overseer, your favorite convex hull of 5 equal perpendicular 16cm line segments made of solid tungsten!
After committing brutal atrocities against the tesseractoid titans for trying to kill me, I needed something lighter to balance my spirits. I can't hate or love for too long, I get antsy. So I coasted to a random 3D planet with life, and decided to try something I've seen half of all civilizations do, find love!!! As I crashed into a tree like organism, vaporizing it instantly and leaving a flaming crater on the ground, I pulled myself upwards by my core, making me float into the air. Who will be the target of my first romance?
As I wandered, looking for the civilization I spotted from orbit, I wondered about what my first relationship was gonna be. Was it gonna be abusive? Loving? Emotionally unavailable? Would I be able to say "it's not you, it's me"? Ooohh I'm so thrilled!
I found the society. They were 4 legged critters with wings, and 3 big adorable eyes, which using my atomic sight I determined to be tetrachromatic. They had two proboscis like mouths which they used to grab things. They were about half a meter tall, feet to head. Oh right, I gotta study their language now.
Okay, it's been a week, I've learned their language for the most part. I wandered around in public, looking for my first crush. Then I saw her! She was the very first person I laid eyes upon, so she was perfect. She was completely average in every way and I knew nothing about her personality. I decided to make the first move, ooh I love pretending to be nervous!
"Um, hi, I think you're cute! Would you like to start a committed romantic relationship with me?" I asked confidently but she didn't know that because I pretended to be shy and non-direct. I hope she got my hint.
"Uh, what the fuck? What are you? Is this some sort of joke? Are there cameras?" She didn't seem to share the spark.
For some reason, this bothered me a bit. I tried to calm myself down. I don't care for her approval, but the fact that one of MY creatures, disrespected- nope. Okay. This is for fun. Genocide is tempting, but ugh it's so much work and I JUST did that.
"My love for you is just a joke now, huh? Okay. Guess I'll just fucking kill myself then."
I summoned a tub of water below me and then immersed myself into it. I summoned air to create bubbles that would come up, giving the effect of drowning.
"LOOK AT WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!!!" My gargled voice yelled underwater.
She didn't say anything, just slowly crawled backwards before taking off and flying away. Rats! Hmmm, perhaps a form that looks like them would be good. I created a body that I could hide beside in another dimension, and it looked good enough. Only took me a few hours. Time to go outside again. Maybe I'll be a bit pickier with who I pursue.
I found him! In the library! He was slightly taller than average, had the slightest ultraviolet cone defficiency, and a heart condition that would kill him in his 40s. When I spotted him with my camera, he was reading a romance novel about cosmic horrors that want to date you. HE'S PERFECT!!! I excitedly made my puppet crawl over to him, attempting to look natural. I decided to adopt a genuine tone, really speak how I normally speak.
"Hello skifmenian male, I notice you're reading..." I paused trying to read the cover, the ink was thin and reading from atoms.
"7 tentacles and paradise?" I cringed after I said it, I must've read that wrong, there's no way that-
"Oh, hey! I didn't know anyone else knew about this book, I love it but it's really niche." He spoke with a genuine passion for his smut, not a hint of shame. He was perfect.
"Hehe, yeah, I wish I could engage in a romantic relationship with an entity of unspeakable cosmic power and inskifmenian origin."
He did something alien that might be comparable to a blush, for the homo sapiens reading this. "I love the way you talk, and, uh- yeah! Same." He stuttered a bit, he was adorable, especially with his diminutive three dimensional body.
"Wanna meet back at your place?" I asked, without a hint of nervousness.
"Uhh, um, yeah!! Totally, wait did you just offer to meet at my place?"
"Yes. That is the concept I communicated to you through spoken language."
18 minutes later and now I was in his den. He had a collection of figurines of cultural cthulu analogs, and girls with tentacles. I had no clue what to do next. I guess this is the part where we grow old together. I don't have any plans so I'd be free to. We talked about the universe, skifmenian sex positions, and eldritch horrors and how "hot" he found them. This creature seemed to only think about sex! It was highly expected, yet still entertaining, like a joke that never gets old.
"I don't know your name, but this last hour talking to you, I have fallen deeply in love with you, and I've waited far too long to reveal this secret to you." I let my puppet slump to the floor, and then moved into his slice.
"That is a puppet I designed to blend into your society. I'm actually a five dimensional cosmic horror with powers you could only dream of, and I've been waiting for decades to find the right mate. You seem perfect. Would you like to enter a romantic relationship with me?"
He sat there in stunned silence, and the anime figurine dropped out of his proboscises. Several moments passed before he regained composure and said something. His wings were tight against his body and his ears down, a sign of nervousness.
"I... um, I uh, this can't be real-" He stuttered and looked like he was gonna cry. Being a perfect person is very easy, I just choose not to, so I attempted to comfort and coerce him.
"I love you! I find your three dimensional body so adorably small, and your soft fleshy form is most cute." I moved in and warmed myself and pushed my tungsten against his skin. I attempted to nuzzle.
He wrapped his arms around me and said "yes! I will date you! I only just met you but I know we'll work out, you're really hot and nice to me!"
Fun how easy faking niceness to get a partner is, when you're an entity of unimaginable power and you're trying to seduce someone who is really into that.
Our relationship was going well for many months until I did something (which was perfectly okay) that made him throw a temper tantrum, and forced me to leave.
"Hey love, why is there a glass in the sink? You don't drink." My darling angel pookie asked.
"That is because I met and fell in love with another skifmenian, and I poured them a glass of water after we engaged in sexual intercourse." I stated truthfully, as I was pretending to be the best partner, and a good partner wouldn't keep a secret.
I saw his face turn red with anger. Hmm, what had I done? Oh, right! He wants me to put the dishes in the dish washer instead of the sink. I began to reply but he cut me off.
"WHAT THE FUCK?! AFTER EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN THROUGH TOGETHER?? I LOVED YOU!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?" He began sobbing. Apparently, this affected him emotionally. Dumbass.
"Woah, it was one dish! I'll put it in the dish washer, sheesh!"
He looked at me, bewildered, wings fluttering in confusion. "I don't care about the fucking glass! I care about the fact that you cheated on me!"
"Wait, are you not allowed to date other people while you're dating someone?"
"NO!! You seriously didn't know that?"
I got defensive. "I'm not a MIND READER!!! You never said I couldn't do that! This is all YOUR fault!"
He scoffed and looked at me in disgust. "Well I'm not the one who keeps turning peoples' pets inside out!"
I started to sear with rage. "Well, they were annoying, okay?! I wanted peace and quiet, I bargained with the creatures and they spoke no language, so I put their organs on the outside and their skin on the inside."
"That's terrible! They don't know any better! You can give them a treat or ask their owners if you're bothered- I don't know why I'm explaining this to you for the eighth time."
"It's not like you're perfect either, you're very controlling. Any time I don't want to watch a movie, or play a sport, or listen to you ramble about the lore of some obscure fandom for 3 hours, you throw a tantrum!"
He didn't immediately respond so I cut into him further. "Normally, I'd just vaporize someone like that. But I am attempting to pretend to be a creature with normal emotions rather than superior god emotions, so I stuck around with you to get the full relationship experience. I never loved you."
His ears went down into a sign of fear and sadness. "You, you don't really love me?"
"Nope! I just wanted to know what a relationship was like. You mean nothing to me! You're one of uncountable mortals that live in the universe I created, and I couldn't care less if you died."
He whimpered and blushed. "Mhm~ how worthless am I to you?"
"I care not for your reproductive urges! You were a terrible, self centered partner, and I'm leaving! You never truly loved me, you just wanted to use me for your fetish!"
"Wait, please don't leave, I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"
That's all I heard before I dropped my fake skifmenian puppet and moved 4 dimensionally, outside the planet's 3-volume. Sheesh! What a nightmare of a relationship that was! I'm glad I was perfectly moral and have nothing to reflect or improve upon. It was all his fault because he was a terrible person. Alright, I think I'm gonna construct a grand 5D art piece out here in space, I've been limited to three dimensions for so long...